sometimes dreams are realer than “real life”
Two nights ago I had a dream.
For the past year or so I have been engaged in a personal battle within myself. I’m almost 74 now, and I have been getting the feeling that I’ve done everything I came into this world to do, and that I better start preparing to depart this mortal coil.
This is not a good feeling. It’s accompanied by the emotions of hopelessness and helplessness. It hasn’t dominated my life but it’s uncomfortable.
My life is pretty good, actually. I have nothing to complain about. So where are these emotions coming from?
Some people would simply dismiss them and take a pharmaceutical drug to dull the senses. I almost did that. After months of this with no resolution I was about ready to ask my doctor for a prescription. Gimme a pill, doc!
Then something remarkable happened.
I always meditate while in bed. This happens sometimes just after I turn out the light. I meditate more often in the middle of the night after I wake up around 4a.m. I most often meditate a half-hour or so in the morning before I get out of bed.
Two nights ago I got a past-life memory; I don’t know what else to call it. It was accompanied by very strong emotions, and hazy visuals as well.
I was a member of an indigenous band of hunter-gatherers. In my group, when a person became too old to hunt or gather or fight, the custom was to take yourself away from the community. This was necessary because the group could not afford to feed an extra mouth. By necessity, a person who could no longer contribute to the survival of the group voluntarily went into the wilderness to die. It was either that or be forcibly exiled.
During this glimpse into my past (??) I understood immediately that this situation was the source of my feelings of hopelessness and helplessness. I was a single woman, and knew I wouldn’t last long on my own.
It’s difficult for me to emphasize how freeing this little dream was. It just slid into my consciousness, completely unrelated to my life, and blew those crummy emotions away. And it explained everything about my present situation.
It was way too real to be fake. Sometimes I see a movie or a program, and it is like a seed that gets me dreaming along those lines. But this incident was completely removed from my life. It was like a gift from God.
It’s so easy in our materialist society to consciously dismiss “spiritual experiences” like this, but I could not dismiss the fact that the feelings that had been bothering me for almost a year were gone.
So yeah, I’m gonna take it!
Then, last night, I had another dream that confirmed the previous one, but this one was more positive.
Sometimes my dreams are so lucid they are realer than real life. This dream was one of those, even though it had no basis in “reality.”
I was walking along one of the academic neighborhoods in Ann Arbor. In one particular area the houses have no sidewalks and they are sort of squashed together in their own area. I went up a walkway and got tangled up where little paths led to, around, and into the properties of each other. I found myself going into the house of a famous professor of literature and was looking for a way out when the professor discovered me in his kitchen, looking for the front door. This is where it gets amazing, as dreams sometimes do.
I was embarrassed but apologized for entering his house. He smiled at me and said, “Well, you know, I’m the Holy Grail.”
Sounds nonsensical, but in the dream the professor was famous for his literary investigations into Camelot and the Knights of the Round Table, so it made sense. He did shows on the local university channel that became very popular.
The professor approached me and twinkled at me, his eyes lighting up as if he had discovered a soul brother. Something I didn’t know was in me twinkled back. There was a feeling of lightness and a childlike innocence between us.
“I’m so glad I met you professor!” I said happily, and he grinned widely.
Something inside me had changed for the better, I could feel it. I have been getting more and more serious lately, and I felt I had re-connected with something I had lost.
“I’ll exit from the front door,” I said.
He twinkled at me again and I walked down the front walkway that thankfully led to the street.
As I did that something amazing happened. I suddenly felt a rush of positive energy and my body felt as light as a feather, as if I was a kid again. Then the word “fairies” sounded in my consciousness and a little guy with a magic wand appeared in front of me. He waved his wand and sparkles of light surrounded me and I felt better than I have felt for a long time.
“Are you a fairy?” I asked.
He twinkled at me just as the professor had done, and disappeared. I felt myself getting more and more energized. I begin to run effortlessly down the street and then the dream ended.
These dreams convinced me again that a spiritual system exists on this planet that is designed to help anyone who is looking for answers from the higher plane, and who is open to spiritual experiences.
What’s bullshit isn’t spirituality or a person’s inherent connection to a higher realm of existence, but the horseshit we are fed day after day by grifters, psychopaths, political liars, narrative spinners, and “experts” who promote endless war, conflict, and the idea that a human being is nothing but a stimulus-response biological robot.
When I got up this morning, as usual, I checked out the news. But instead of getting angry at people who bring others down, I just gave them a little twinkle and spread some of that magic fairy dust toward them. It’s hard for me because I get so pissed-off at self-centered bullies who promote and grift off of human problems.
But I don’t feel like preparing to depart anymore.
Maybe it was a miracle. We’ll see how long it lasts.
