To judge someone
has been considered a pejorative act since biblical times;
we have all heard the saying, “Judge not, lest ye be
judged.”
Judgment is considered a bad thing because the object of
that judgment is often offended or hurt.
If
obese Aunt Hilda wears a short, low cut, brightly colored
dress to church Joe, the usher, might judge her and say,
“For God's sake old woman, tone it down will you? Nobody
wants to look at your ugly bod.”
We
might consider that such a dress is inappropriate and might
offend the sensibilities of others; just as, say, we would
expect people at a church service to remain quiet and
attentive; for someone to get up and begin swearing would be
unsuitable behavior.
Judgment stems from the comparison of actions with regard to
an agreed upon code of conduct. That code of conduct is
different in different cultures of course, so it is really
impossible to say that any conduct is right or wrong from a
universal standpoint.
For
example, one might say that to take another's life is a
universal wrong; yet, in a culture of warriors, such may be
considered a badge of honor. To die well, to count coup
over an enemy's body, were all highly regarded principles in
some of our own native American cultures, demonstrating the
idea that free will choices determine the appropriateness of
any action.
Let's take a look at the statement, “Judge not, lest ye be
judged.”
It
has been interpreted to mean, “If you say nasty things about
someone, they'll probably say nasty things about you.” But
there is, I think, a deeper meaning behind it.
What happens when Joe judges Hilda?
Mainly, Joe first has to look inside himself and find
something negative.
“Obese people are ugly and shouldn’t advertise themselves,”
perhaps, is Joe’s thought. This thought generates negative
emotion because he have decided, appropriately or not, that
he don't like obesity.
Why
would Aunt Hilda be hurt or offended by Joe’s statement?
Because she looks inside herself and finds something
negative. More accurately, Aunt Hilda, in the present
moment, decides that there is something inappropriate
about herself.
But
why would she do this?
When Hilda got up on Sunday morning she felt awfully good;
the sun was shining, she had a good rest, she was looking
forward to the church dinner and talking with her friends
and, as a special treat, she was going to have a talk with
that nice pastor who was thinking of displaying some of her
art work in the church foyer.
So
that morning, Hilda was feeling expansive and joyful; she
gazed in her closet and saw the bright yellow print dress
she'd been longing to wear since the cold gray day last
winter when it caught her eye in the clothing store. “Oh,
why not!” she says. “Let's put it on today and shine our
light out into the world!”
When Joe, the surly usher, makes his judgmental comment as
Hilda walks into the church surrounded by her fellow
parishioners, he thinks he is making a statement about
Hilda, but in fact he is making a statement only about the
state of his own consciousness. Joe's comment is merely a
reflection of his point of awareness and has little or
nothing to do with Hilda!
How
can this be? Isn't it obvious that Hilda is wearing a dress
that could be considered by many to be in bad taste?
Well, let's look at it from Hilda's point of view!
As
she walks past Joe just outside the church doors, Hilda is
feeling wonderful about herself. For the first time in a
long time she is walking comfortably and she loves the feel
and look of the dress. When Joe makes his insensitive
remark, Hilda has two choices: (1) to continue in a state of
connection with herself, or (2) to decide that Joe's
statement is hurtful.
There is NO reason whatsoever for Hilda to do (2), except
that the meme “When someone says something mean to you, you
have to react in kind” is powerfully established within the
consciousness of all present. Therefore, the expected
behavior is: Hilda flushes, becomes sad and cries; or
perhaps, Hilda gets angry and whacks Joe over the head with
her cherry wood walking stick.
This expectation creates a powerful vibration within the
space of consciousness of all present. Hilda is immersed in
that space and, along with Joe, is in fact the center of
attention for a split second as all await to see how Hilda
will react. All understand implicitly, even if not
consciously, that the Law of Free Will and the Law of
Vibration are in effect; all present understand that Hilda
has complete control over her response, for only Hilda can
make the decision within herself whether to respond as in
(1) or (2).
The
Law Of Attraction is the next to come into play, for
whatever is Hilda's decision will determine the responses to
her, from those around her.
Let's say Hilda does the expected: she caves in, begins to
cry and drops her cherished walking stick to the ground. Now
all in the vicinity respond according to the vibration which
Hilda had brought forth: some angrily criticize Joe, others
put their arms around Hilda, comforting her, some angrily go
to the pastor and demand the removal of such an insensitive
usher; the responses will be varied because the Law of Free
Will is always in effect.
The
point is, the responses of the others to Hilda are entirely
generated from Hilda's free will decisions, not Joe's!
This may seem absurd until we think about what happens if
Hilda does (1) instead of (2).
Joe
says: “For God's sake old woman, tone it down will you?
Nobody wants to look at your ugly bod.”
Hilda, feeling wonderful about herself, smiles and says
cheerfully, “That's OK Joe, you probably didn't get your
coffee this morning,” and without a backward glance, seats
herself in her accustomed pew.
What are the responses of the others in this case?
Irritation at Joe, perhaps even downright hostility; but
toward Hilda, people smile, chuckle to themselves and say,
“My, Hilda is in a good mood this morning!”
The
others respond in this way because they were poised
vibrationally upon a teeter-totter, and Hilda's vibrational
signal, thrown into the mix, determines whether it swings
one way or the other, with regard to Hilda.
It
is possible that the tone level of the group will be largely
undisturbed by Joe's comment, for Hilda has reminded
everyone how grouchy Joe is early in the morning when he
doesn't have at least 2 cups of coffee in him, and all
understand that on Sunday mornings Joe's wife, encouraging
him to “better himself,” browbeats him to volunteer at the
church.
Hilda's attitude and her insightful understanding of Joe's
situation not only promote a cheerful vibrational outcome
for her, but may also prompt some of the group entering the
church to even feel a little sympathy for Joe.
Of
course, the exact outcome of the response to Joe will be
determined by the precise content of Joe's vibrational
offering to the group, but Hilda's cheerful response may
bring Joe up the emotional tone scale to the point where the
group's response to him is positive as well and everyone
simply laughs the whole thing off. In other words, Hilda
gets to determine not only the outcome for her, but may also
effect a positive outcome for all in the group! This is the
power of consciousness, aligned with the laws of the
universe to bring about positive change in the world. And
all from a simple, conscious decision to stay centered in
her own power!
A
judgment is really a statement of the attitude of the
speaker, it has little to do with the person spoken to.
The
statement “Judge not, lest ye be judged,” really means,
“Judge not, lest ye influence yourself to feel precisely as
you have intended the object of your judgment.”
All
action follows thought. Thought precedes action. The
negative feeling of judgment must always exist within you
first, before it is projected to the world at large. This is
a rather obvious statement, somewhat like saying, “You have
to turn the water on before it comes out of the faucet.”
However, our little example again reminds us that we have
complete control over the way we feel about ourselves; it
reminds us of our own power and how we often give it
unnecessarily away to others.
Negative judgment may or may not hurt another, but it will
always hurt you!
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